If there is an inappropriate conversation to be had I will have it. I’m really good at it. It’s one of my super powers. This week’s inappropriate conversation took place at a celebration of life. I can only take half credit for this inappropriate conversation as technically my fairy godmothers were already having the conversation and I just butted in. At first they were hesitant to let me in however I’m like a dog with a bone when it comes to sniffing out life lessons. These ladies were not going to get rid of me.
So we were at a celebration of life for our mutual friend’s husband (he was a wonderful man who had lived a long and admirable life) and the topic of conversation was–wait for it–how awesome it is to be a widow. Yes that is what my awesome fairy godmothers were talking about and what I was dying to know more about.
For the record, my fairy godmothers loved their husbands. But they loved that they could now do whatever they wanted, when they wanted. They could leave their house in the morning and come home that night and everything would be in the same place. Seriously it’s a thing.
But I was confused, and not just because we were having this conversation within earshot of our friend who clearly was not embracing widowhood. Too soon, too hard. But it’s not just recent widows, the women I know who have lost their husbands (and as a financial advisor I unfortunately know quite a few of them) don’t typically embrace their single status. What separate them? Their answer was: hobbies.
Hobbies. Say what? Yes, my fairy godmothers said hobbies are the answer. Hula dancing and interior design are their hobbies of choice. And what I realized as they were describing their hobbies is that hobbies was the wrong word. Because what they were describing were much more than a hobby. What they were describing were passions. These passions that sustained them in widowhood, interestingly were born from their days as working mothers looking for something more than running Family Inc. And for those of you not familiar with Family Inc. it is the insane endeavor of trying to have a well-adjusted loving family, while pursuing a fulfilling career, cultivating a relationship with your partner, fitting in time with friends when a free moment presents itself (ha-ha that is meant to be a joke), and please don’t skip the gym. Easy to see how you could lose sight of you. Because it’s pretty damned insane to think that you have time to cultivate a passion of your own (gasp) while trying to juggle all the aforementioned madness.
But that’s what my fairy godmothers said. And when those women who have been there and done that drop some wisdom on me I listen, I think about it, I write it down, and I share it with the world.
For laughter and inspiration read my book The Working Mommy's Manual, available on Amazon.
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