Slut: noun
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ODI-NALkI4c&feature=youtube_gdata_player
I have been beyond furious with the comments Rush Limbaugh made about the law student who testified that it would be helpful if her birth control were covered by her medical insurance. I mean I’ve been having fantasies about tying my hair back in a pony tail, putting on all my rings, greasing up my face with vaseline, and challenging Rush to a street fight. I want to pound this man to a pulp. I’ve been thinking about all the awful things I would call him. My favorite so far is “fat bastard junkie.” I mean I am going there. Just fighting mad and ready to sink to the lowest level I’m capable of – which is really freaking low for those of you who don’t know me.
And then I started thinking: why in the world am I having such an over the top reaction? I don’t know this woman. Am I really surprised Rush said something shocking I don’t agree with? Where is all this anger coming from? And then I realized it’s that word: slut. It’s the female equivalent of being kicked in the balls. If all else fails calling a woman’s sexual ethics into question will undermine most of us – if even for a brief moment. It will make us flinch. It puts us on the defensive.
It’s not even the word but the concept itself that frustrates me – particularly as a woman who works in a male dominated field. Just a few weeks ago I made in roads with a very important referral source who I have been wooing for months. The referral source offered to take me and a few clients of his to a basketball or hockey game to make introductions to them on my behalf. When I reported my success to one of my male colleagues by sending him an email with the subject: “Better than being asked to the prom.” He responded by emailing back that I should just make sure to keep my dress on. I emailed back to him a one word answer: “Always.” Now I know my co-worker didn’t really think I would have sex with this referral source. I know he was just teasing as he is a good friend of mine who has a great sense of humor. But it got my hackles up. Because on some level we all know that there is this unconscious belief that any woman’s success is in part due to her sexuality. That my success with this referral source was because I’m cute and not because I helped him in a small way smooth the path for a $50 million dollar deal he was working on (which truly was the case).
Maybe it is just me – and please leave me comments and let me know if you think I’;m being crazy – but I am sick of my sexuality having anything at all to do with whether I am capable in my career or whether this Georgetown Law student has a valid point about her medical coverage. I’m sick of it always being brought back to sex.
The irony is that most women couldn’t care less about sex. Especially us working moms. Honestly if I were given the choice between an uninterrupted full eight hours of sleep or George Clooney naked with a diamond necklace wrapped around his manhood George would be S.O.L. In reality I wish I cared about sex more. I wish I had the energy to want to jump on my husband every night. I ASPIRE to be a slut. Because I am certain that acting like an “immoral and dissolute” woman with my husband will ensure a happy marriage a lot more than anything I learned from the two day marriage seminar we just attended at our church.
So Rush, you can call me a slut as often as you want. I won’t be offended anymore. And henceforth I will not be miffed when a co-worker infers that my breasts have more to do with my success than my mind. I’ll just smile and nod.
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