I Get By With a Little Help From My Friends

I knew this month was tough the moment I realized that turning forty was the easiest thing I had done. We’ve all had those kind of times in our lives where we look back and think “how did I even function on a daily basis?” Like brushing my teeth – how did that happen on a regular basis? We’ve all been there. And hopefully you, like me, got to the other side of it. Mostly, at least. And you are now looking back thinking “whew, glad that part is over!” Because getting through the hard parts of life is, well, hard. And even though there are so many reasons that we are able to survive and thrive in the face of adversity (inner strength, spirituality, resilient nature) I know for certain – at least for me – that getting me through was a team sport. I didn’t climb out of my deepest darkest pity party on my own. Strong as I like to think I am I’d still be wallowing at the bottom of the pit of despair if it weren’t for the power of my friends. And I’m going to throw my husband into that mix since he is my best friend. And it’s Father’s Day so it never hurts to earn a few extra “good wife” points.

Women have a super power. Most of us naturally know how to comfort, soothe, and support our friends in times of great need. It’s like breathing to us women. Show us a sick friend and we can organize a month’s worth of dinners to be brought to them within 24 hours of diagnosis. When our friends need us we are there with a bottle of wine and a strong shoulder to cry on the second we receive the text with the bad news. And we will bring her favorite bottle because as her friend we already know that it is Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc.

I think we sell ourselves short as women for not recognizing this superpower. It is truly astonishing how fearlessly we will throw ourselves into an emotionally turbulent situation so that we can pull our friend to dry land instead of letting her drown. It’s as unconscious an act as breathing is to us. Like “duh of course I called the minute I heard and wanted to see what I could do to help.” But that is a trait that is very particular to us chicks. Talking about scary emotional things aren’t really men’s strong suit. That’s not to say they can’t be fabulous and amazing (props again to my hubby) but it’s just not in their DNA.

In fact I have a secret, completely unscientific theory that this superpower we have – this ability to connect and support in times of desperation – helps us live longer. Laugh if you will but it is a fact that women outlive men by an average of a little over 5 years. And I think it is directly related to our ability to reach out to our supporters and for our supporters to reach out when we need them the most. Now science might say it is because we women have better immune systems, or our hearts do not start to deteriorate like men’s until about ten years later on average. I agree that it has something to do with our hearts but it’s not the physical functioning it’s the mental love that we give and receive when we are feeling bruised and battered.

So thanks to all the Wonder Women out there who dusted off their ‘Golden Lassos’ and donned their ‘Bracelets of Victory’ and helped pull me over the finish line. I’ll be returning the favor soon!

If you like my blog you’ll love my book. Buy The Working Mommy’s Manual on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Working-Mommys-Manual-Nicole-Corning/dp/0615637418/ref=cm_sw_em_r_dp_6ZRcqb0QFT7P8_tt