I Got A 94% On My Second Grade Science Fair Project

This is what my husband texted to me when my seven-year-old came home with his graded project. To be fair, it took a village. I spent a weekend researching online with my son the sorts of projects that he’d not only be interested in but didn’t involve too much complexity, then spent a day running around to four different stores to get the supplies and the “right kind” of poster board (for the uninitiated that is a real thing).

Thanks to my brilliant husband we were able to coach our son into begging his grandmother, the former teacher, into actually helping him perform the experiments, write out his scientific steps, and take pictures as proof that he did this “himself.” And don’t judge us for conning good old grandma until you’ve walked a mile in our exhausted shoes. Mom I love you, please forgive me.

Finally my husband printed out all the pictures and glued them with construction paper backing to the correct poster board along with the scientific steps and the scrap of paper my mother used to write out the experiment notes (again as proof that my seven-year-old actually did the work).

Can we just agree that what took three adults and a small child several weekends to accomplish would never have happened if it were truly left up to a seven-year-old boy? I’ve actually been giggling for the last few weeks when my mind wanders and I think of what my son, Sam, would have actually turned in had he been left to his own devices. My day dreams involve printer paper with stick figure drawings and various food from our pantry frozen in plastic dishes. Mostly because this is what he does anyway and just like a safety song in karaoke I think this is what he’d revert to. Go with what you know, right?

Now don’t get me wrong, I am not bashing science fair projects. In spite of all the extra work for us, it was fun and definitely a bonding experience and for sure Sam learned something new. But in future can we please just call it what it really is: the Second-Grade Family Science Project?” Anyone who thinks that a seven-year-old has the knowledge, skill, or quite frankly, attention span (squirrel!), to get a 94% on his own is sniffing too much crafting glue. Let’s just be brave and honest and tell it like it is: your family will be responsible for your child learning something. And really what’s so bad about that?