Holidays send me over the edge. And not because I am known to be shopping for presents on Christmas Eve (truly I work best under pressure) but because as a mother to two young children every holiday requires that I make a sad clown attempt at being crafty. The cute and kitschy are not my forte. Creating an adorable Halloween vignette at the front of my house with handmade bats, ghosts and the perfect carved pumpkin is literally beyond my capabilities – by a lot.
And it’s not just holidays. Children’s birthdays are the worst. I mean come on, who are these women who painstakingly hand make their kids invitations? Lovingly placing each sparkle and stamp in exactly the right place so as to make it look simultaneously home-made and professionally produced? These are the invitations that literally make my throat constrict and my stomach lurch as I approach the actual party because I know that once my children see the wonder that is this fabulous party they will inevitably think “how come my mom is so lame?”
So I’ve taken a stand and have decided to outsource Easter this year. Yes, you heard me right. I am having the fabulous woman who makes all my client gift baskets (Lee Chopyak of Coyote Rose Gifts and Gourmet Baskets: http://www.coyoterose.com/ for all you similarly deficient moms out there – don’t ever say I’m not a giver) make my sons’ baskets up this year. I feel it was the right choice for me and my family. Mostly because the sense of peace and calm that washed over me after I realized that my husband and I wouldn’t be frantically dashing through Bed Bath & Beyond looking for Easter items suitable for small children and buying pastel colored trash cans instead of actual baskets like, you know, we did last year, was indescribable.
Not only was the burden of having to come up with something cute for the boys lifted off my shoulders but I found a comrade in arms. My friend at work overheard me ordering the baskets and started giggling uncontrollably. Turns out her children had been completely distraught at ages nine and twelve when she decided not to go through the basket hoopla of Easter. In fact they were so distraught that they fashioned their own ghetto Easter baskets out a mixing bowl and an empty pot. Seriously, kids? I mean truly where is the cut off and when do us craftless moms catch a break? To which my friend folded like a house of cards and created the most over the top fantastic Easter extravaganza ever.
Well played, children, well played.
So to all you other loser moms out there – you are not alone. Find comfort in the fact that there is a sisterhood of lame moms just like you willing to cackle over your children’s’ brilliant attempts at emotional bribery. Stand tall, raise your glass and cheers to us all!
If you like my blog you’ll love my book. Buy The Working Mommy’s Manual on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Working-Mommys-Manual-Nicole-Corning/dp/0615637418/ref=cm_sw_em_r_dp_6ZRcqb0QFT7P8_tt
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