I am an unapologetic privileged white woman. And I’ve worked really hard to become one. I am the daughter of two hippie parents so money was never easy to come by – it just wasn’t that important. It also meant I grew up in the tough inner city so my hippie parents could revitalize the urban community and live amongst the common man. How tough of a neighborhood could it have been for me to turn out a privileged white woman, you may ask? Let’s just say we finally moved when my dad found a crack addict in my bedroom one night and stabbed him. So that kind of neighborhood.*
And though a crack addict breaking into my bedroom could seem like a terrible thing. – and at the time that’s how it felt. It was also a gift. Because after the break in my family and I moved to one of the most exclusive towns in Massachusetts. It always reminds me of that joke that a Democrat is a Republican who hasn’t been mugged yet. We bought a teeny ranch home on a busy road next to a cemetery but we were about as far from crack addicts as we could get. But the move to the safety of the suburbs wasn’t the gift. The gift was the knowledge at a very young age that I could slip between these two worlds – urban and suburban – easily because of the way I looked. With blond hair, blue-eyes, and a nice girl face it was easy to blend into my new suburban surroundings. People just assumed I belonged. Even to this day when I tell people where I spent the first thirteen years of my life they laugh and have all sorts of comments along the lines of: “well I never would have guessed that.” On a side note I freaking love where I grew up and had the most amazing community and friends ever.
The flip side to knowing that I could blend was that I also knew that there were a whole swath of people who couldn’t blend. If my name had been Lawanda instead of Nicole and if I has been a dark skinned black girl instead of a fair skinned white girl I knew the transition from hood to suburbs wouldn’t have been quite so easy.
Because as a society we base a lot on looks and snap judgment. And everyone is guilty.
So when all the protests started over the lack of indictments in the Michael Brown and Eric Garner cases I wasn’t surprised at the visceral response from some the thinly veiled racist remarks on social media sites like: “2,000 protesting Ferguson and only 8 miss work.” Sad but not surprised.
And when the media started bashing the heavily white police forces for using unnecessary force it made them – whether consciously or unconsciously – the “bad guy.”
But it’s never that easy.
Because relying on our biased first impressions keeps us stuck on repeat. It prevents us from making progress and dooms us to devolve to the lowest common denominator.
This is our chance as a nation to have a real honest discussion about our fears, our biases, and yes our racism – from all groups. Our diversity is what makes us strong as a nation. We need to get honest with each other and most importantly with ourselves. Because a white police officer in Cleveland would be surprised by how much they have in common with a hoodie wearing inner city youth. They both just want a chance – a chance to be happy, a chance for a better life, and a safe place to to make it all happen. Now that is something worth protesting for.
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*NO PLACE LIKE HOME
[THIRD Edition]
Boston Globe (pre-1997 Fulltext) – Boston, Mass.
| Author: | Barnicle, Mike |
| Date: | Nov 12, 1986 |
| Start Page: | 25 |
| Section: | METRO |
Abstract (Document Summary)
When Ed Winbourne bumped into Reuben Harvey the other night, he swore at him, punched him in the face, chased him, whacked the man with a two-by-four and then stabbed Harvey in the right side with a sharp hunting knife. Because he admitted to this, the police charged Winbourne with assault and battery with a dangerous weapon and he will appear Friday in Dorchester District Court to answer the charge.Here is his side of the story: He says Reuben Harvey was standing in the bedroom where his 12-year-old daughter sleeps at the Winbourne home in Dorchester. He says it was one in the morning. He also says that because he did not know Harvey and knew for certain that his little girl didn’t, either, he assumed the man had broken into the house. That’s when Ed Winbourne used profanity.
Pure speculation, Mr. Winbourne, and totally inadmissible — as is Mr. Reuben Harvey’s prior criminal record. By the way, how is your daughter?
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