The Ultimate Vacation

This week I realized I am truly sick.  Or in desperate need of a vacation.  Possibly both.

The realization came to me in a blinding flash of clarity earlier this week.  I was in my car zoning out to NPR when they started talking about a Las Vegas woman, Miki Sudo, who had called in a bomb threat to a Phoenix bound plane her boyfriend was on http://abcnews.go.com/US/wireStory/vegas-woman-probation-aircraft-bomb-hoax-16461213 .  Now here’s where it gets weird.  The broadcaster goes onto say in his soothing monotonous voice that the sentence handed this brainiac is probation and – wait for it – TEN MONTHS OF HOUSE ARREST!  For real!

But here’s where it gets pathetic.  As I’m listening to the announcer I feel my whole body flush with anger and  – again wait for it – jealousy.  Yes it’s true, my gut reaction to this mental midget’s punishment is jealousy.

Because I’m thinking to myself:  What I wouldn’t give to have ten months of The Real Housewives (of anywhere), Law & Order, and What Not To Wear marathons!  I would finally have time to clean out, organize, and put down shelf paper (just the thought of shelf paper sends shivers down my spine) in my disaster of a pantry.  My linen closets would be impeccable.  Every single painting and decorating project would be completed.  My floors would be spotless – like Martha Stewart spotless.  My base boards would sparkle.  I’d finally have time to finish the Charles Darwin biography I’ve been struggling with for the last year and a half, along with Fifty Shades of Grey, and any other remotely interesting e-book my neighbor has in her Kindle account.  I’d have killer arms because I’d finally have time to use the Shake Weight I bought to tone up for my twentieth high school reunion.  Currently it sits forlornly in the corner of my closet (my husband would be ecstatic I’m finally using it – but I’ll save that for another post).  My dogs would be groomed and smell fantastic – even their breath.  Heaven.  My ten months of house arrest would be pure Heaven.

So I’m thinking of calling up the sentencing judge, Kent Dawson, and asking him to think about possibly sending Miki Sudo to my house for ten months of hard labor.  In the meantime, I’ve signed up for a subscription of Conde Naste Traveler.

For laughter and inspiration read my book The Working Mommy's Manual, available on Amazon. Buy Online Now!
by | 41 Comments

41 Comments on The Ultimate Vacation

  1. ตารางบอล
    April 18, 2013 at 1:44 pm (12 years ago)

    Hello there! I simply want to offer you a big thumbs up for the
    excellent information you have right here on this post.
    I’ll be coming back to your website for more soon.

    Reply
  2. コーチ
    April 18, 2013 at 2:01 pm (12 years ago)

    Emu Boots sale as much as 50%, and in the event you pay for just two couples of uk ugg boots, many surplus treats will likely be offered. Buy cheap UGG boots visit: When you are looking at purchasing due to the fact, world-wide-web retailers offer these with lower prices compared to those from local sellers. As an outcome of peculiarity around the physical appearance of a pair of boots, a good deal of people is not going to want to put on them beforehand of.

    Reply
  3. http://glcliberia.com/
    April 18, 2013 at 2:28 pm (12 years ago)

    Many celebrities have been fascinated with the retro looks of for
    the reason that, for example, Oprah, Paris Hilton, Pamela Anderson and Kate Hudson etc.
    People of each and every class and level can simply
    get these because their costs are of every range. The unique qualities from
    the sheepskin mean which they will maintain your feet warm in even the coldest of weather,
    but that when you wear them in summer they will not likely overheat your foot.

    Reply
  4. longchamp sac pas cher
    April 18, 2013 at 7:09 pm (12 years ago)

    It takes me into a mysterious aura, where every living thing grows with a specific sound, sound that nobody can hear; where in a black background stood an old castle, with decaying beauty, frightening spirits and horror mixed with love and death. And I like that kind of gothic romance.

    Reply
  5. http://www.musustilius.lt/eilerastis/4306
    April 18, 2013 at 8:38 pm (12 years ago)

    UGG Australia has produced some unique and fun types in
    boots for women – Classic Stripe UGG Boots really are a perfect illustration of the.
    There are many types for babies, nevertheless the very top from the favorites list include:.
    And reproductions may well appearance in the same way terrific.

    Reply
  6. コーチ バッグ
    April 18, 2013 at 9:12 pm (12 years ago)

    Just since the name implies, these ugg boot are from Australia,
    which are crafted from twin-tier merino wool.
    When it comes to the most styling infant, dress your kids in uggs.
    The unique qualities with the sheepskin mean they will keep your feet warm in
    the coldest of weather, but if you use them in summer
    they will not likely overheat your foot.

    Reply
  7. loss of hair
    April 18, 2013 at 9:36 pm (12 years ago)

    Howdy! Do you know if they make any plugins to assist with Search Engine Optimization? I’m trying to get my blog to rank for some targeted keywords but I’m not seeing very good results. If you know of any please share. Thank you!

    Reply
  8. Franchesca
    April 18, 2013 at 10:47 pm (12 years ago)

    UGG Australia has produced some unique and fun types in boots for
    females – Classic Stripe UGG Boots are really a
    perfect illustration on this. 5L models in the
    “Iridescence” allowance box, despite well-designed counterfeit bright Jiuzun base, so how the cut apparent just appropriate
    bright reflects “Iridescence” the cradle of each
    and every neon, for the account of Hennessy cheap ugg boots Salon goes for the a
    lot of admirable style. As an outcome of peculiarity about the physical appearance of these boots, a whole lot of people
    is not going to want to utilize them upfront of.

    Reply
  9. 6pm 10 coupon code 2012
    April 18, 2013 at 10:57 pm (12 years ago)

    Need to be a relief to learn it can be risk-free once once again to meet up with guys off GRINDR, SCRUFF, GROWLER, ADAM4ADAM, et al for quickie anonymous sex. I suggest what possibility is there in that?

    Reply
  10. appreciation
    April 19, 2013 at 12:44 am (12 years ago)

    That a majority of people understand somewhat concerning. In lots of households, some of those a pair of conditions claimed the actual life regarding members of the family. You cannot neglect the significance of

    Reply
  11. acne cyst
    April 19, 2013 at 12:46 am (12 years ago)

    there are tanning lotions which are really challenging on the skin, i usually use organic tanning lotions,,

    Reply
  12. 6pm shoes discounts
    April 19, 2013 at 4:32 am (12 years ago)

    When Garfield Higher College will be the geographic substantial college assignment for college students who live on Capitol Hill, it’s not situated inside the Capitol Hill neighborhood. It is within the Central District.

    Reply
  13. 6pm promo code 10% off 2013
    April 19, 2013 at 5:07 am (12 years ago)

    How much fuel is being used by these helicopters for this dust pile. What exactly is life.

    Reply
  14. Ruthann Hank
    April 19, 2013 at 6:57 am (12 years ago)

    The next time I read a blog, I hope that it doesnt disappoint me as significantly as this one. I mean, I know it was my option to read, but I essentially thought youd have some thing intriguing to say. All I hear is often a bunch of whining about something that you could fix for those who werent too busy looking for attention.

    Reply
  15. Coupon codes
    April 19, 2013 at 2:13 pm (12 years ago)

    I love the efforts you have put in this, thank you for all the great posts.

    Reply
  16. kalanka.org
    April 19, 2013 at 2:52 pm (12 years ago)

    Thiѕ technologicallу advancеd smartphone
    has ѕold oveг threе million blackberry Nοte ӏΙ has
    surfaced online. Sprint is offеring a $400 price
    tag with a tωo-year servicе agreement.
    Τhe display screen is 4. Cаpture your mоments with 5 MP cаmera with autofocus
    ωhісh can take shots at a resolution of 2048 x 1536 pixels аnd comes wіth ԁedicatеd camerа button.

    Μу sitе – kalanka.org

    Reply
  17. katalog stron www seo
    April 19, 2013 at 2:55 pm (12 years ago)

    Simply wanna comment on few general things, The website style is perfect, the content material is real wonderful : D.

    Reply
  18. filmy angielskie napisy
    April 19, 2013 at 3:38 pm (12 years ago)

    Great beat ! I would like to apprentice even as you amend your web site, how could i subscribe for a blog website? The account aided me a acceptable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast offered vibrant clear concept

    Reply
  19. kody pocztowe wrocław
    April 19, 2013 at 4:22 pm (12 years ago)

    My partner and I absolutely love your blog and find almost all of your post’s to be exactly I’m looking for. Would you offer guest writers to write content available for you? I wouldn’t mind composing a post or elaborating on a few of the subjects you write about here. Again, awesome web log!

    Reply
  21. live strip
    April 19, 2013 at 8:08 pm (12 years ago)

    We’re a group of volunteers and starting a new scheme in our community. Your website supplied us with useful data to work on. You have done a formidable job and our whole community will probably be thankful to you.

    Reply
  22. crackit.info
    April 19, 2013 at 8:13 pm (12 years ago)

    I precisely wanted to say thanks all over again. I am not sure what I would’ve handled in the absence of the actual ideas provided by you about such subject. It actually was the fearsome problem in my circumstances, however , finding out the very skilled tactic you managed it forced me to leap over fulfillment. I am thankful for your information and thus trust you know what a powerful job you have been carrying out instructing men and women through the use of a site. I know that you haven’t met all of us.

    Reply
  24. hier ansehen
    April 19, 2013 at 11:19 pm (12 years ago)

    Oh no, all my dreams and hopes are gone. Can the communism save us?

    Reply
  26. sexcam
    April 20, 2013 at 1:17 am (12 years ago)

    Your blog is amazing dude. i adore to check out it everyday. incredibly good layout and content material “

    Reply
  28. Modesto Beddows
    April 20, 2013 at 3:26 am (12 years ago)

    You might be a very powerful writer. I could see this in your post. There is a manner of writing powerful information that sparks much interest.

    Reply
  30. Juegos
    April 20, 2013 at 5:48 am (12 years ago)

    My grandparents had a small ice cream dairy and went through tons of bread and buns. I collected the clips. I know I had well over 1200!

    Reply
  31. kim kardashian marriage
    April 20, 2013 at 6:17 am (12 years ago)

    my baby enjoys playing on the baby swing, baby swings can actually make your baby happy**

    Reply
  32. Foster Oachs
    April 20, 2013 at 6:24 am (12 years ago)

    I like the helpful info you provide in your articles. I will bookmark your weblog and check again here frequently. I’m quite sure I will learn a lot of new stuff right here! Best of luck for the next!

    Reply
  34. Funeral services
    April 20, 2013 at 6:44 am (12 years ago)

    my brother has a gambling difficulty and he just burned a thousand bucks in one particular night-

    Reply
  35. chat mit cam
    April 20, 2013 at 7:10 am (12 years ago)

    There are actually particularly an excellent deal of information like that to take into account. Which can be a superb point out raise up. I supply you together with the thoughts above as basic inspiration but clearly there are basically questions for example one you retrieve the place that essentially the most critical element may be in honest very good faith. I don?t know if recommendations have emerged around such things as that, but I understand that the job is clearly labeled as a superb game. Each youngsters notice the effect of merely a moment’s pleasure, for the remainder of their lives.

    Reply
  38. Michel Yenglin
    April 20, 2013 at 9:43 am (12 years ago)

    I’m honored to receive a call coming from a friend as soon as he uncovered the important points shared on your own site. Reading through your blog write-up is a real brilliant experience. Many thanks for considering readers much like me, and I hope for you the best of success as a professional in this domain.

    Reply
  39. Eileen
    April 20, 2013 at 9:52 am (12 years ago)

    A lot of of the things you mention happens to be supprisingly legitimate and it makes me wonder why I had not looked at this with this light previously. Your piece really did turn the light on for me as far as this topic goes. However at this time there is actually 1 point I am not too comfortable with and while I try to reconcile that with the actual core theme of the position, allow me observe just what all the rest of the subscribers have to point out.Nicely done.

    Reply
  40. baju bayi Murah
    April 20, 2013 at 11:39 am (12 years ago)

    Wow, wonderful blog layout! How long have you been blogging for? you make blogging look easy. The overall look of your website is wonderful, as well as the content!. Thanks For Your article about The Ultimate Vacation | The Working Mommys Manual .

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *