Dealing with people is like one giant Rorschach Test. If I’m in a good mood then I find that just about everyone I come in contact with that day are some of the loveliest people on the planet. On the flip side if I’m harried or in a pissy mood the world seems to be filled with a bunch of a**holes put on the planet just to make me miserable. Like the guy who sped up as I was trying to merge right to exit the 101 yesterday. That guy I hate. I mean unless he was on his way to diffuse a nuclear bomb he really didn’t have to speed up in an attempt to gain one car length of time getting to his destination. I mean come on!
But I digress.
My point is that whenever we have an interaction with anyone during the course of our day we are bringing to it every shade of emotion we woke up with and decided to carry around with us. It’s so hard to get out of our own heads and truly, really consider the full scope of what may be going on with the other person. Even the jerk on the 101.
A couple of weekends ago I met a woman who had just flown into town for a girls’ weekend with her high school friends. As she settled into her window seat the woman in the middle seat the row behind her reached through and lovingly rubbed the shoulder of the man sitting next to her and murmured what to her ears sounded like sweet nothings. Now to a woman who has been married for a while with a couple of kids this scene was truly eye-roll worthy. I mean come on, you two love birds can’t even make it a whole two minutes without touching? Just wait until you realize he has morning breath and thinks farts are funny like every other dufus man out there. And won’t it be grand when he realizes she is trying to “fix” all the things about him he actually likes – and then tells him it’s time to throw out his beloved Laz-e-Boy? Hope you still have googly eyes for each other when life gets real.
And for about four seconds these thoughts flashed through her mind. Along with the thought of how much she loves the window seat on flights. But then she did something wonderful. She got out of her own head. I’m sure the prospect of heavy drinking by a pool with the funniest women she knows in less than four hours made the decision to be a good Samaritan a little easier. So instead of spending the few hours in flight being annoyed and disturbed by these two love birds she graciously offered to exchange seats.
At the end of the flight the man gave her a heartfelt thanks and slipped this note into her hand:
to the Lady in 26F,
Thank you for giving up your seat. You didn’t have to do it and it was very kind of you.
I suffer from anxiety disorder and frequently have panic attacks on planes. My wife is a wonderful help as she distracts me and talks me through exercises to relive my anxiety. On this flight I was nervous because we would not get to sit next to each other.
Yet you were kind enough to offer up your window seat for a middle seat. Your kindness allowed me to sit with my wife and made a big difference for me. I have had one of the lowest anxiety flights ever. Thank you so much.
God bless,
Josh
Of course after I read the letter I first thought, thank God she gave up her seat because I can’t think of anything much scarier than a strange man sitting next to me freaking out on a flight. My second thought was, note to self, travel with extra Xanax.
Truly though this is a great reminder of how we create entire stories about everyone we meet that are just that – stories And if we can just let go of our own frustrations and try to assume the best in people we truly can make the world a better place. So the next time I want to run someone off the road on the 101 I will just remember that maybe they really are going to diffuse a nuclear bomb.
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