When Women Attack

When my friend, Jane, sent me a link to an article entitled: Sorry Being a Mother Is Not the Most Important Job In the World I felt like taking off my earrings, putting my hair in a ponytail, smearing Vaseline on my face, putting on all my rings and street fighting the woman who wrote it.

Classy is not always my middle name.

The premise of the article, which I encourage you to read, http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2013/nov/18/sorry-but-being-a-mother-is-not-the-most-important-job-in-the-world is that women consign themselves to a life of second class citizenry and perpetuate their own marginalization because we tend to deify motherhood above all else. Which is, you know, true.

But it is only true if you buy into the myth that financial and workplace success are the benchmarks by which we should all measure our value. I have to tell you I can’t think of a more misogynistic premise for women to buy into.

I am a financial advisor and just recently I hosted an educational event with a focus on women and investing. The speaker, Jaylene Howard of Russell Investments, made a point that stuck with me – when asked about what they value, the majority of women indicated that they most value family, stability and security whereas men value high returns and financial success. And you know what? Because of those values women tend to have more successful financial outcomes than men when investing. How’s that value system working for you now?

And if you want evidence as to the importance of what women typically value and its influence in society don’t take my word for it – look at China. They’ve had a massive social engineering experiment in place since 1979 – the infamous “one child policy” – which has resulted in an enormous gender imbalance skewed towards men. The unintended consequences of having such a male dominated society, as noted by Valerie Hudson, a Brigham Young University political scientist, is likely to lead to an unstable China “marked by increases in crime, violent crime, crimes against women, substance abuse, and the formation of gangs that profit from these behaviors,” And in the future, a more “masculinized” China could be susceptible to political campaigns focused on national pride and hostility towards competing nations (Birth Policy Could Destabilize China, http://www.rfa.org/english/news/china/policy-09232011171854.html). So less women equals less social order and stability. Hard to argue that the “traditional” values and influence women bring to the table aren’t just as important as the those “traditionally” linked to men.

I also refuse to accept that financial success and workplace recognition are the best measures of a person’s success in life. Because why should I value what men hold up as the benchmark for success? I don’t do it for anything else in life why would I do it when it comes to something so important as my values system. I’m all for “Leaning In” – heck I wrote a book and continue to write a weekly blog about how to balance motherhood and career! But I write it for the women who make the choice to work and be a mother. My choice doesn’t lessen another woman’s choice to be a stay-at-home mother or to be a woman who chooses not to have children. It’s simply what I choose to do with no judgment of you.

We women need to stop trying to make our candles burn brighter by putting other’s out. We need to help each woman light their own candle and pretty soon we’ll have a bonfire no one can marginalize!

If you like my blog you’ll love my book. Buy The Working Mommy’s Manual on Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Working-Mommys-Manual-Nicole-Corning/dp/0615637418/ref=cm_sw_em_r_dp_6ZRcqb0QFT7P8_tt